A Surprise!

Well, I have a bonus profile for you. It’s not a character profile, per se, though one could be described as a character. Enjoy!

Matthew Matherne

Real Name: Wouldn’t you like to know?

Known Aliases: Johann, Keldrigg Farigrimm, Valroan

Age: 20 Something

Birthdate: Sometime between January 1 and December 31, 1990 something

Birthplace: Small town in the United States Midwest

Current Residence: Aforementioned Small Town

Parents: Potentially scientists who created me in a lab from canine DNA, though they might have just used traditional methods to make me. Who can know these things?

Siblings: Two half brothers with the whitest names ever: Jon and David

Significant Others: Not yet, but there is hope! Not much, but hope.

Pets: Chuy, a Pomeranian/Maltese mutt that barks too much, and Whisper, an old, cranky Maine Coone cat who likes broccoli

Hair: Business Cut, Dark Brown

Facial Hair: Full beard, Dark Brown but with flecks from the entire spectrum

Eyes: Dark Brown (Sensing a theme here?)

Height: 5’6ish”

Weight: Too high

Tattoos: Perhaps some day

Notable Features: Left-handed

Clothing: T-Shirt, Jeans/Shorts, Sometimes a ballcap, Sandals/Skater shoes

Armor: I wish!

Occupation: Caretaker, Amateur Author, College Student

Associations: Verbal Realms

Koeleth Standard Warrior Rank: E probably, but I do low blows

Weapon of Choice: Middle Finger

Blessed Weapon: None

Favorite Color: Blue

Favorite Food: Cheese, Bacon, A Wide Array of Fruits

Favorite Drinks: Green Tea, Black Tea, Milk, Mountain Dew, Root Beer

Favorite Flavor of Pie: Pumpkin, Pecan

Least Favorite Food: Tuna, Green Beans, Coconut, Liver

Hobbies: Video Game (Favors RPGs), Reading (Fantasy and Sci-Fi typically, but also Philosophy and Religion), Daydreaming, Writing, Watching YouTube videos, Hanging with my Two Friends (Sorin and Jack, Sad, I know), Playing one Not-Famous MMO, Wallowing in Negativity and Lack of Self-Esteem

Favorite Animal: Old Dogs, Siberian Huskies, Golden Retrievers, Basically all things dog

Favorite Gifts: Food (I’m a fatty)

Unique Talents: Is very loyal, is brutally honest, can make any dog his friend in no more than two days, regardless of aggression, can lose his train of thought in a fraction of a second, can be spontaneously inspirational, can talk your ear off

Other Notes: The happiest pessimist you’ll ever meet, when poked will laugh like the Pillsbury Doughboy, has never been on a date ever, cares for everyone even if he claims not to, consistently fails to ask out girls he’s interested in and then bitterly regrets it for a day or two after they get a new boyfriend, loves all animals except humans and mosquitoes, desperately wants you to like his writing