Quotable Moments

Tom

“So what are you doing here, Mister?”-a bartender

“Don’t you think ‘Hold my beer’ is a better way to start a fight than ‘Hold my water skin?’ By the way, hold my beer.”-Tom, shortly before starting a bar fight

Aaron

“Look over there! The king’s in a dress and doing the cancan!”-Aaron, to a guard who caught him stealing from the royal palace

“Not again! My lord, this is most unbecoming!”-the guard

“Again? What?”

“What?”

Cleo and Tom

“You harm a hair on her head, and you’re dead!”-Tom, to a villain

“Oh, Tom, I knew you cared!”-Cleo

“Well, yeah. You’re a friend. I can’t just let you die. That would be awful.”-Tom

“How romantic.”-Cleo, sarcastically

“Hey, I’m saving your life. You could at least pretend to be thankful.”-Tom

Tom and his unintentional interactions with the breasts of women

“Aw, dammit.”-Tom, after each and every accidental boob grab incident

“How dare you!”-Kristin, shortly before slugging him in the face

“Tom, this is not the way to woo me.”-Cleo

“Ummm…this doesn’t seem right.”-Catalina

“So, you like the goods?”-Alice

“I know, man. Boobs are great.”-Mei

Dustin

“What’s the matter? You don’t have any friends? That’s not right.”-Dustin, to a lonely child

“But aren’t you the paragon of isolation, Dustin? Don’t thrive on loneliness?”-a traveling companion

“I fail to see how that’s relevant.”